I decide to give myself a break. from the mundane, from life.
I can smell the scent on my skin.
I smell of longing like this night smells of rain.
I trim my nails, take my hair down from the bun it is usually in.
I get my pink pipe out of my box of fun. There is just a tiny bit left.
Three puffs. I feel the air leaving me, watch the smoke spread out.
Off with the pants. My blue panties with the peace sign on the butt.
Off with the shirt, unclasp the bra.
My waves of brown hair fall bellow my breasts.
I lay out my toys like instruments for a doctor.
I lay back on the bed. My skin feels extra sensitive, tingly.
My head is filled with smoke. I can't think; I can only feel.
I caress my breasts, pull my hair, trail my fingers across my stomach to my thigh.
I grab the slim purple toy, turn it on. Gently.
My left hand guides the toy and my right hand goes down too.
And this is what I fantasize:
We are walking on the college campus, during the late afternoon. He is my friend and has been. Lazy stroll under the trees and past the pink flowers lining the trail to the parking lot. He is holding a boombox, which is playing a song called general specific.
One look and he kisses me. I'm not sure if I'm surprised. My hand reaches to the back of his head and I pull the kiss closer. He wraps his arm that is holding the boom box around me and I feel the music resting against me. His hair is wavy, almost curly and a piece of it sways in front of his glasses and he pushes it back, looking at me with questioning eyes. I grab his hand, feeling the calluses as I tug him. This way.
We quickly descend the stairs and go into the hallway on the right, third room. "This is a good place," I say. We go into the room, it is small. A piano room, with nothing but a piano and a small desk. I shut the door. "What if someone hears? What if they come in?" he asks. There is no lock. "We''ll just have to make some music." I smile. I turn up the boombox. It plays atlas by battles. He kisses me and gives in, sinking into the kiss. The warmth of his hands, his body pushing me into the piano. His arms wrap around me; his kisses are insistent, his tongue slides deeper. My hands explore, reaching under his white shirt and running across his chest and up to his shoulders. His hand awkwardly reaches up my shirt, tentatively hoovering at my breast before reaching under my bra and plucking the red rose colored nipple. He undoes the clasp of my white bra, and he leans down to kiss my breasts then up until his lips run across my neck, finding their way back to meet my lips. More kisses. The beat quickens. He pushes harder, his cock feels hard underneath his blue jeans. He reaches under my dress and I feel his fingers searching my lady parts, feeling my wetness. He pushes the panties down casually. I undo the button of his pants and pull them down. He pulls my dress up over my head, leaving me standing in nothing but my heels. His mouth is open as his eyes go up and down me. The music has slowed. Then he lifts me up onto the desk, and I lean back against the piano and the wall. His hand reaches back through my hair and he pulls me in as he kisses me, and I feel his hard cock push against my thigh. I touch it with one finger.
He thrusts his cock into me. All I feel is him. The beat quickens. He is touching me and I am watching his face. His kisses. A class gets out and we can hear the hallway fill with students. He is thrusting harder and I grab him and pull him deeper. He leans down to kiss me and my breasts push against his chest. The beat rises with anticipation. It is neither hard nor faster but everything is more sensitive, like suddenly we feel everything. His hands slide up me and his face is lost in pleasure. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, clutching onto him. I can hear doors in the hall opening and shutting. He leans up. His thrusts become faster and the music reaches for climax. He pounds into me urgently, asking for everything. I feel his cock swell and he lets out a groan, his mouth open and eyes closed and then I too am lost as everything tightens and suddenly all my sensations intensify and I feel everything, wave after wave of release. Surrender. He falls onto me, slightly damp with sweat and he breathes heavily, resting his head on my shoulder.
We quickly pull our clothe back on, and holding hands we slip out of the piano room casually. We smile to each other as we leave.
Other fantasies include: two ladies (usually one needs persuading), said two ladies being spotted by a guy who stays spying on them and masturbates without them knowing he is there, a lady doing a catholic priest (or someone else who has taken a vow of chastity), giving John a blow job (the risk being he is my friend), a cowboy/farmer type taking me asking me if I need any help with a flat tire on a dirt road (or something stupid like that)- and he is very helpful, a complete stranger just coming up and kissing me and then we go off to fuck - never saying a word to each other (maybe a beginning line like, 'you look beautiful' or more commonly 'hello'), and sometimes guys I like feature a part (in the one above, the guy or may not have been Andon) but mostly I don't fantasize about people I know or even celebrities - it just feels weird. And yes I am aware I completely love the idea of doing it somewhere where you can get walked in on, and of 'persuading' or 'corrupting' someone - 'I don't know if this is a good idea' *kiss in the right place* 'don't stop!'. When I masturbate I almost always have music on, unless I am in the shower.
So I laid around for a few minutes and then starting typing this. Next I think I am going to play the piano, and then have some more fun with myself. The music that is playing is wonderful, I can feel it like fingers brushing my face and hair. Right now Iron & Wine (The Creek Drank The Cradle, not the new stuff), which feels like kisses on my neck and shoulder. Everything feels lovely, everything feels light like air and brighter like candles in paper lanterns. It is like I can feel everything like I feel my sweater, how it runs against me - but this is air, light, music. I feel them like diving into a pool and feelings the water run it's hands over your most dangerous and private parts.