Heavy

I've been naming people after their e-mail address. So this dude is named Heavy. He is one of the CL dudes. He sent me a pic of himself in army fatigues. He is blond with short hair and blue eyes. He said he wanted to chat a bit before we meet up so he gave me his number and we texted each other. Here is how it ran:

Me: hi
Heavy: Hi. My name is ***** by the way. How are ya?
Me: I'm good, just chatting to people and listening to modest mouse.
Heavy: I'm listening to the Kings of Leon.
Heavy: So you are looking for a fwb?
Me: Kind of. Just a one time thing and if its really good we could do a fwb
Heavy: Sounds good. What type of one time thing would you be looking for? Is there a fantasy in mind or circumstance?
Me: I'm not sure. I'm kinda new to this. Is there something you had in mind?
Heavy: It would seem you need a guide. Someone who can make you comfortable, and make you feel sexy. Maybe we meet up and keep the chit chat minimal, and focus on glances and restraint. Teasing.
Me: You sound awesome
Heavy: I can give you what you want, but more to the point, I can show you what you want. I'm slow and easy taking in every moment and dragging out the impulse to lose control.
Heavy: You can remain in control and still lose yourself in the moment. Are you 420 friendly?
Me: Yeah
Heavy: You're in luck. So tell me something about you.
Me: What would you like to know?
Heavy: What ever you think a perspective sex partner should know. Don't be bashful, it will dull your experience.
Me:I am shy in person. When it comes to sex I like it a little rough.
Heavy: Good girl.
Heavy: That's a big piece of the puzzle. The more pieces I find the better the sex gets. You ever considered being a submissive?
Me: Actually yes, but my friend that I was going to try it with lives in L.A. and I don't have a car.
Heavy: I could train you from time to time. So you live nearby?
Me: Yeah.
Heavy: I think we will hit if off tomorrow.



So tomorrow came and I got up early to go meet him. We were supposed to meet at Starbucks, which I chose because I never go there. But I had been talking to this other guy about meeting there too, but I had changed my mind and couldn't get ahold of him - in short, I was afraid both guys would be there. Awkward to say the least. So I switched it to the smoothie place next door.
When I ordered my smoothie I turned around and there was a man staring at me very intently. He was wearing a button up plaid blue shirt, very cowboy-ish.
"Do you like table top arcade games?" He motioned to the pac man game they had there.
"I haven't played them much." I said.
I sat down across from him and looked down at the arcade game. Little flashing lights and a tune playing that clashed with the dance music playing in the smoothie place.
He had tattoos all over his arms. They weren't full on sleeves because there were spaces between the tattoos. His hands were even tattooed. I can't even remember what was said. I usually go for medium or lean/athletic build guys. This guy is a tad bit heavier but he was so charismatic. I wanted to keep talking to him. In that moment I was thinking "My life amazes me. How much luckier could I get?"
He asked me if I wanted to smoke some pot. I said sure but then we ran into the problem of where. I couldn't go back to my place in the middle of the day and expect privacy - my mom had been bothering me all morning. And my siblings are very young and loud. He suggested we go to a park. He leaned and looked me in the eyes.
"I would like to fuck your brains out right now, I just don't know where we would go."
And that's when I realized he was talking about more than smoking today.
"I'm not in High School anymore, I like being inside."
"Oh you were that girl in High School?"
"Yeah, but I didn't sleep around. I had sex in lakes, parks, beds, bathrooms..."
"Anywhere starting with the letter b..."
I laughed.
"You don't seem shy."
"I'm shy about...certain things."
"Oh, 'certain' things." We both knew I was saying sex.
"Well, I'll give you this. There is more where that came from. And text me when you want to get together."
He handed me a nugget wrapped in plastic.
"Will do."
He put his arms out for a hug and I gave him a brief one.
We both started walking away.
"I don't want to leave you right now, ugh."
I laughed, "Goodbye."
He texted me five minutes later. I was practically giddy. So happy.
"Are you going to text me again or have I scared you?"
"I'll text you."
"I really want to come over right now. You've got me all hot and bothered"
hmmm, weird. I didn't actually flirt with him much. How was he 'hot and bothered' by our little hello?
"We should have made out."
ick.
"Should I come over?"
"Not now."

I'm not sure if it is my doubts or what. Like I have a feeling I would have to have a conversation with him and he might actually try and make me cum, which is very embarrassing for me for some reason. I know when I met him and right afterwards I thought it was the best thing ever and I felt super lucky. But by the time he finished texting me I was not so sure. I don't know how I feel about it. I'm not sure if it will be a really good idea or really bad idea. I wish I knew! I liked his personality when I talked to him but now I'm not sure. And he seemed neither ugly nor attractive - I didn't feel that excitement when you meet someone you really want to fuck.

To fuck, or not to fuck - that is the question.

New Years Resolutions?

So John came over for the eve and I was feeling less dramatic than when I posted so we talked and had a good time. I was in the middle of my wonderful Berlin/Amsterdam story when the New Years came and went, and we never noticed. He said the story was epic, perfect way to end a decade.
"What are your new years resolutions?" He asked.
"Hmmm" I hadn't thought about it yet. "Have an orgasm during sex"
"Penetration?"
"Yeah."
"That's a fucking good resolution."
"Yeah, that is a FUCKING good resolution" He said. "Oh, no pun intended!"
"uh-huh"
"That's cool though. I'm sure it will come to you. no pun intended"
We both just laughed.
So it was. He went home around 2am, with promises of playing music together and hanging out more. Told me he would call me. After he left I pondered for a moment. He had brought up the having a threesome thing again. Good idea or no?

So I go on-line today and decide to see what May is doing. May was friends with me in High School; I remember she came onto me once when I was sleeping over at her house, but I had a boyfriend (Drew) and was weirded out and slightly turned on by the incident. Oddly enough she is the first person I called when I needed someone to hold me after Drew confessed he had been cheating on me with everyone. But anyways she came back in town for the holidays and I want her and John to go to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show with me. But she is busy. I turn the subject to lady parts - as in, I always wanted to have sex with a lady, how do you do that?

Our Convo:
May
do you masturbate?
not so different
I mean practice makes perfect
and then there's oral
that can be scary
but to start with
fingering is great


Sky
do you use vibrators or anything with each other?

May
don't know how you feel about toys, I don't
you can
not usually vibrators, just dildos

Sky
do you do strap ons?

May
not me
I've never been with anyone that does
it's not super common

Sky
are what girls like done to them very different, or is all pretty much the same?

May
hmmm
ok
well in the vanilla community (non-BDSM)
it's pretty similar

Sky
i know what vanilla is silly

May
well some people don't
ahah
a lot of people don't actually
but Yay!
um so
in the vanilla community, it's pretty similar
I mean there are small variations like in anything else
some women have a hard time getting to climax and you have to start quickly and slow down
other women are opposite
but that's stuff you learn throughout a relationship

Sky
yeah

May
some women like certain things in foreplay
nipples are really good for some and too much or useless for others
really depends
just have to read reactions

Sky
weird, i thought everyone liked the nipples thing

May
most
for some women it's really good like helps in orgasm
for some women, they're so sensitive it can hurt
or it's too overwhelming during orgasm
or it's exactly the trigger they need for orgasm
women are certainly more complex to bring to orgasm than men

Sky
yeah

May
but ok
basics wise
I mean it's very similar to masturbating
start with some foreplay
move on to the clit
sometimes you stay there
but usually you want to alternate between clit and vaginal penetration
if you're good with both hands clitoral and vaginal simultaneously is really good

Sky
yeah

May
if you're doing oral, then you use your tongue and teeth for the clit
and your dominant hand for vaginal penetration nd G-spot stimulation
it also helps (here's a trick) to push your chin lightly against her stomach just over the G-spot while you finger her
it increases stimulation and makes orgasm easier

Sky
wow

May
oh and I have found
that circles is much better than in-out thrust motion
circles are the trick

Sky
I'll remember that

May
haha I may have just given you way more info than you wanted
sorry

Sky
no way man
if you remember how horny i was in high school, triple that
i am more dirty than you probably

May
hahaha
omg
we should hang out
haha

Sky
we so should
lol

May
I love sex

Sky
me too



SO subject turns to BDSM, as in I ask how vanilla are you. Because these are my New Years Resolutions:
1. Have orgasm during vaginal penetrative sex, without using a toy or my hands
2. Have sex with a lady
3. Experiment more with BDSM (I'm a sub)
4. Have a 3, 4 or more some
5. Run a under 10 minute mile
6. Write a song by myself
7. Read all the books in my bookcase
8. Be debt free

So four are sexual, four not. Pretty even. I'm happy with it. But that brings us back to May - she is looking for someone to experiment with. So I say "too bad you're not single. I'm looking for a dom."
and she was like "I'm looking for a sub. I'm worried about the distance though, since you live here. I'm going to have a talk with my girl, I'm hoping we aren't monogamous."
"Well in that case I can just come down to visit you when I have time off"
"We need to keep in touch"
"We do"


DAMN MY LIFE IS AWESOME.

So I call John to see if he wants to go to the show tonight but he is undecided. I tell him about Maybe May and tell him to keep it a secret because it is a maybe after all. He is like damn, too bad she is a lesbian or we could all three do something. Oh damn.
"You still want to do a three some? We've talked about it a lot but we were always drunk."
"Yeah, I do want to. I've just always *mumble mumble*."
"Well in that case I'll look around for someone. It can't be that hard, what with the luck I've been having."

DAMN. This might make life awkward for John and I, though. We've been good friend for a long time. But I've kinda wanted a friend with benefits for a while. HMMMMMM.

I need to get rid of this cough and get busy. 2010 is going to be FUCKING awesome.