So all day I was looking forward to hanging out with Andon after work. He texts me, "when do you get off of work?", I reply "6pm". I wait, drive home.
I'm at home making dinner, wondering when he will text back. He does around 7. He doesn't want to come, he is in a bad mood. I'm kinda put out, sounds like stupid excuses. "Lame, I thought we could have some beers and listen to music. Text me next time you want to hang out." bummer. I'm kinda emotional, I haven't eaten all day. I make an emo playlist and start listening to sorrow and lameness.
He texts back "I'll take a shower and be over in a few." uh...ok.
He comes over, he seems to be in a good mood. He brought mead over but we didn't drink it, instead we each grab a beer from my new mini fridge. We talk and start doing the music exchange on the laptops, he is quiet mostly because he is on the laptop and I don't know what to say so I nervously peel off bits of the label on my beer. I get a second beer, he isn't finished with his first. I wish he didn't have that stupid girlfriend. But she is moving later this month and they are not going to do long distance. Which makes me hopeful.
Then I start getting stupid. I knew it was getting late but I didn't want him to go, and I wanted him to have a good time and not be so quiet; I wanted to make him laugh. So I tell him my Berlin/Amsterdam story. WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?!?!! I haven't even told some of my close friends that story! Holy moly. But he laughs and then I don't know what to say to top that and then I just keep talking and words are falling and I try to think of my funniest stories and sex keeps coming out of my mouth. Like blah I'm a whore. And I tell him about the possible May. He says I should do it. I say I'm unsure. Then I tell him about some of my High School escapades and then I just keep going. I slowly realize I sound like the slut I am. Oh dear lord, he will never like me now.
Then he says he has to go, and I let him. It is like 1 am. He also says that the next time he has a party to go to he wants to invite me, I'm always fun to hang out with. Ok. Then when he was leaving he put his arms out to hug me (!!!). And it was a nice hug. It made me happy. I like him a lot.
But then he left and I was feeling restless and moody and I wanted to walk but I knew it probably wasn't a good idea since it was so late. I started feeling so stupid because all the things I told him started to sink in - like, if you like a dude and want him to like you and possibly do you, you probably shouldn't say any of those things you said. So I tried not to beat myself up about it. I talked to Ribsy on-line, and he was being weird. Calling me the captain. I took some stupid pictures of me using photobooth on my computer. Then I posted them on facebook. Immediately High School Dude (remember him?) sends me a message on facebook chat and he says nice pics. We start talking. He wants to show me his new tats on his webcam. I know where this is going but I let it go.
He is suddenly super charming. and silly. I talk about how I kinda love/hate my glasses and he shows me his - the ones he never wears. omg ultimate thick black nerd glasses. He asks me to turn on my cam, and I do. We decide to play ten fingers: basically you say "i have...." and if someone hasn't done it they put a finger down, last person with fingers wins. And we made it a drinking game so I opened a third beer. He asks if we can have the other persons strip as a grand prize. I say ok because I think I'm going to win and I don't mind showing him my tits.
I start going "I am so going to win. pssshh"
me first. "I've had a 3 some with two guys."
No fingers down for him.
"I've had a girl finger my ass"
Finger down for me.
"I've had sex in a lake."
no fingers down.
"I've had sex with my cousin."
ew. finger down for me.
"I've had sex with someone I knew less than an hour."
no fingers down for him.
"I've paid a whore for sex"
fingers down for me.
and so on. I was pwnd.
I only had a bra and undies, but I took them off for the camera. He wanted me to lay back and spread my legs.
He put his hands in the prayer position and mouthed "please!"
"10 seconds, that is all you get"
he took of his boxers and waved around his cock, I'm not sure if that was supposed to do anything for me but it looked hella silly.
"I want to do you so bad girl! You have sucha sexy body!"
I can feel myself blushing. What to say to that.
"Why haven't we ever hooked up before?" he asked.
"Well, we kinda talked about it before but you changed the subject. So I blame you."
"I'm free this weekend."
"How about Friday, I get home around 10pm."
We talked until 4am, when I had to say "IT IS 4 AM".
"I can't wait until Friday" he said.
"You have my number."
So then later, in the sober light of day, I'm not so sure this is a bright idea. I remember last time I ran into him I thought something like "thank god I didn't sleep with him!". But I can't remember why. And he obviously has had lots of sex, but hey that isn't a bad thing because I have too. But he sounds more whore-ish than I. Good idea, or bad idea? Not sure. And the weird part is that part of me feels guilty. Because I like Andon and I feel weird sleeping with someone else while I like him. It's almost like doing two guys at once, or cheating. But not.
Maybe I should just have a beer or two before he arrives tomorrow...