Tuesday, January 12, 2010


I stay up late at night. When there is only like 4 people on-line. One of those is always Scott.
And I don't have the heart to delete him off my friend's list.

But then late night comes and there is no one to talk to and my mind wanders. I think about the book he let me borrow, the one I never read and still have. I think, what harm is there in asking is he wants the book back?

Then my logical brain goes NO!. I put him on the list that says NO for a reason. It means NO. Because if I talk to him 1) will be awkward, 2) will give one of us hope of reunification, which is stupid, 3) will probably lead to him just saying "you can keep it" or "drop it off at my house", both which involves me taking care of it and 4) what is my reason for talking to him? I don't care about the book. My brain has hidden alterior motives. Maybe like doin' him again since I can't seem to get any decent sex. But he isn't a sex kind of guy so he wouldn't be into it. So what's the point?

The point is to let my brain and heart torture me apparently.

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