Sunday, November 29, 2009


So the holidays are upon us.

Thanksgiving creeped up on me. Usually we have it at my grandma's house. But this has been a tough year for grandma so we had it at our house. Which was stupid.

Everyone keeps coming back to grandma's like it is a magnet and they can't fight the pull. My mom's house is the opposite; it repels the whole family. Everyone got there 15 minutes before dinner was served and left immediatly after it was over.

Here is how the family breaks down on my mother's side:
Grandma had six kids: Uncle Fred is a single alcoholic (newly in AA) who likes any girl who will do him, sports, and gambling. No kids.

Uncle Ken moved to Idaho with his wife Babe, no kids. But they have a weird dog.

Uncle Lee is exiled; grandma has removed him. But he lives a block away and has a son who is my sister's age
Aunt Billie is a single mom with two kids, Crissy is my age and Ed is 12.

My mom has 3 biological children (Air, Me, Dean) and 2 adopted children (Gaggin and Neal) and then foster children. and my poor father.

Uncle Ted has 3 kids but never had custody of the two boys; he raised Be, she is two years younger than me. He has a girlfriend with two teenagers that are model children.

So we don't have T.V. at my house and my mom isn't turning on the radio for the game so that Fred can sit there worrying about his bets. He went into my room and used the computer to watch the game. He brought his girlfriend, who we have never heard of before and probably never will again. Next comes Ted and his girlfriend who is part of the family; she sits on the couch and smiles politley while the kids run around screaming. Ted cuts the Turkey while my mom says over and over "I can't do this by myself!". My dad is wresting the 3 foster girls into chairs. They hired my cousin Crissy to watch the boys and she is sitting at the kid table: she looks miserable. My mom spends the whole meal serving the kids. It is Gaggin's birthday so we put some candles in the pie and he eats in like five minutes so he can get the pie over with and have his presents. It is all he talks about. He is 4 now. He opens his gifts with no one watching except my mom. Mu uncle Ted does his classic manuever - he got my mom to buy his gift for Gaggin, he has no idea what he got him. He never buys gifts himself. We all pick names of adults out of the hat to see who we are buying gifts for this year - I got Ken's wife Babe. Could have been worse. Everyone starts leaving before the pie is even served, which is half way through dinner. Be shows up about that time, late, and my mom mumbles about how Be is so on drugs. We went to the midnight sales at the mall later and Be was halfway through a chocolate fudge cake, haha, munchies.

After dinner I flee to my room and look at old pictures of the family. I feel like they are all dead. I have a new family and they are not the one I grew up with. When I was young Ted never dated, I didn't even know Lee existed, Fred was married and smelled like a bar room floor, I had no younger siblings, we all lived in the same town...what happened?

My boss called and offered me more hours at work. At least I will have a chance at paying off some of my debt this year. I have a plan though.

My plan is to focus on work and composing my music and working out, and by January I should have most of my debt paid off and some weight gone and then I am going to find a fuck buddy. That is my plan. Nothing exciting will be happening for a while (I think) so I am going to back track and type up some older stuff. Until we meet again.

Friday, November 20, 2009

My Sexual History

Since I am taking my sweet time typing up my Europe Journal and nothing interesting is going on I figured I would give like a little summary of my sexual history as of right now.

Less than Sex: My first boyfriend I was a little afraid of and couldn't talk to and we 'dated' for a week. To get back at me for dumping him he asked my friends to help him cross dress at school. Of course there was stupid spin the bottle kisses. There was this bi girl named Kristina who played Vampire with me and I think we kissed but it was part of the role playing game. I know she bit me a lot. In Madrid at the end of this pub crawl two guys in a row tried to take me back to the makeout corner and I kissed them each for like a second and then walked out because I didn't like them, I only kissed them cuz I was drinking a bit.

Warning: I sound kinda judgey about the guy's sexual performance, but that's because numbers 3 - 10 were one night stands and most one night stands just suck.

1. Drew - first real boyfriend, dated for over 2 years. "Ended" when he confessed he was a man whore and was sleeping with well over 20 other girls. I couldn't say no though and I secretly continued dating him for like 5 more months, but making it clear that I was weening myself from him. I dumped him twice.

2. Westly - Dated for a year. He was a freshmen, I was a young senior (High School). I wanted something fun but then really liked him. He ended up being a douche. He broke up with me for no reason. And his sex drive was like once a week and I am more like twice a day.

3. Dana - I went to Santa Cruz, my friends and I randomly found this party and I drank 8 cups of beer in an hour. This guy told me his name and I told him he had a girl's name. I was mostly blacked out at this point. Spent like 5 minutes in the bathroom with him and then 5 minutes in someone's side yard cuz we got kicked out of the bathroom. I think I slept with him to prove I could since it had been such a long dry spell.

4. London Joe - Guy from London. Very polite. I wanted to sleep with at least one foreign guy and this one bought me beer.

5. Argentina Man - I was feeling crappy about sleeping with Joe when way hot Argentina Man came onto me. Uh...I make no sense.

6. Young Guy in Germany - went on a pub crawl, drank a lot, this young guy was giving me drinks and being all nice and somehow I went back to his hostel with him.

7. and 8. Turkish Guys - I was walking to my hostel, drunk, from #6's hostel and these guys cat called me. Offered me free weed. I was like heck yes and they were really surprised. We had a threesome in front of a church. The second guy didn't get his penis in me but I still think he counts as sex.

9. Rob aka Amsterdam Asshole - I spent a weekend in Amsterdam not eating, only having beer and 'space cakes'. Rob and I did it twice and then I found out he was married with a kid. He wasn't cute or good in bed either (I thought the first time was bad because we were so wasted and in a tiny shower). '

10. Lesson Exchanging Dick - He came over to exchange a guitar lesson for a piano lesson, and he smelled good and had nice hands. Lasted 3 minutes. Oh well.

A round number 10. It's kind of crazy, with many one night stands - I'm very sexual and sometimes insecure, so adding alcohol just makes me want to sleep with the nearest guy. I've never orgasmed from just sex, and only the guys I dated (1 and 2) ever made me orgasm (yay for oral). And that's all she wrote.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Hot Tubs (and why they suck)

My mom loves water and is always cold; so she adores hot tubs.

But they suck. They are usually so hot I have to pop in and out, and the air is freezing so that sucks. But more importantly most people think it would be fun to have sex in one. It's hot and all the jets...right? no. Ladies know water just takes away any natural lubrication and shoves bacteria up where no one wants it. I've done it and the noise also blocks you from hearing people walking out to the patio, fyi.

So my mom got a new hot tub and got me in it for about 10 minutes. The next morning I took a shower. And then started the pain and torture of my bad luck. I started breaking out but not just normal breakout - big red sores on my thighs, back, tummy and chest. Then on my arm pits and bikini line. My nipples started to get these sores on them and my breasts hurt so bad I am wearing a normal bra with a sports bra over it. All my siblings and my mom have the sores too and my mom's ear was killing her so she went to the doctor - she got one of the sores in her ear canal. This is what we have (from wikipedia):

Hot Tub Folliculitis (also known as "Pseudomonas aeruginosa folliculitis") is a common type of folliculitis, a condition which causes inflammation of the hair follicle.[1]:272
This condition is caused by an infection of hair follicles due to the bacteria Pseudomonas aeruginosa. The bacteria is commonly found in hot tubs, water slides, and such places. Hot tub folliculitis appears on the skin in the form of a rash, roughly resembling chicken pox and then developing further to appear as a pimple. Hot tub follicultis is extremely itchy, and left alone without scratching will go away much more quickly. If the rash is aggravated, it can stay, worsen, and spread lasting for months. By that point it is much more difficult to treat. The dots usually go away after about 7 to 10 days, but the condition leaves a hyperpigmented lesion that goes away after a few months.

The doctor told my mom hot showers and shaving razors can spread it. ugh. a vinegar compress is the only thing they really recommend at this stage, if it gets worse they give you antibiotics.

And Richard has called me 3 times. I only answered once (the other times I wasn't around to answer). He called me in the middle of night to 'hang out'. I declined, told him to give me a call some other time. If he calls back anytime soon I'll have to pass again - how can I let anyone see me naked with all these sores? It looks like I have chicken pox or something! Plus guys always want to mess with the boobs and they hurt too much for that right now. I guess I am on someone's booty call list though.